Frequently Asked Questions
Rarely Answered with Complete Accuracy
What is the Wonky Institute?
We are a world-renowned repository of bent wisdom, obvious truths, and misattributed quotations. Our mission is to preserve humanity's most self-evident discoveries for future generations of confused scholars.
Are your artifacts authentic?
Absolutely! All our obvious truths have been rigorously verified as genuinely self-evident. Our misquotes are authentically incorrect, and our paradoxes are impossibly possible.
Can I visit in person?
Our physical location exists in the space between reality and imagination, which makes it simultaneously accessible and impossible to find. However, our digital collection is available 24/7 from the comfort of wherever you currently are.
How do you acquire new artifacts?
Our researchers constantly monitor daily conversations, social media posts, and overheard statements for new examples of obvious wisdom. We also accept submissions, though we can't guarantee when we'll get around to reviewing them (see: Bureau of Procrastination & Efficiency).
Why do you sell t-shirts?
Because wisdom should be wearable! Our t-shirt collection allows you to share profound insights like "Water is wet" and "The sky is up there" with the world. Plus, all proceeds support our ongoing research into the self-evident.
Are your staff members real people?
Our distinguished faculty includes Prof. D. Uh, Ms. Malaprop, Dr. Paradox, and others who exist in the liminal space between character and concept. They are as real as any institutional figure, which is to say, it depends on how you define "real."
How can I support the Institute?
Visit our Museum Shop, share our wisdom with friends, and continue making obvious observations in your daily life. Every time someone states the self-evident, our mission grows stronger.
Do you have any questions that aren't frequently asked?
Yes, but we can't answer them because they haven't been asked frequently enough yet. This creates a paradox that Dr. Paradox finds delightfully contradictory.
Still Have Questions?
If your question isn't answered above, it might not be frequent enough yet. Keep asking it and check back later!
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